Why is it that I keep my guard up around everyone?
Even my closest friends are more like acquaintance than close friends should be.
I'm forever scrambling to strengthen those bonds but part of me feels like I lack the proper training. I lack the tools to have that type of meaningful connection with anyone. Try as I might to say what I truly feel and react to the moment, I end up trying to get everyone to like me at the time. I worry about saying the wrong thing and alienating somebody.
I can always see it coming. It's the same thing everytime.
Bend over backwards to impress
Build false expectations
attempt to live up to them
come off as phony